christmas, my personal life (kind of) and new (to me) music
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 6:26PM christmas is almost here. so if you haven't finsished your shopping, what the hell are you waiting for? go get me my present!
i honestly can't wait for christmas. mainly i can't wait to see my niece and nephew open their presents. to see the sheer joy on their faces. it reminds me of what it was like when i was their age. for me this time of year is about seeing the people i care about be happy. well who am i kidding, that's the most important thing for me all year long.
i've always been the kind of person who worries about other people's happiness before my own. because frankly if they are happy then i am happy. but i'm not going to be 100% happy because of one simple fact. i'm single, and there aren't too many times during the year that remind me of that more than the holidays.
there is a simple fact as to why that is for me. christmas 2007 was the worst christmas of my life. the friday prior to christmas my then wife said to me, "you should go see your family over christmas and i'll go see mine." that was the last time i lived in that house as we stayed seperated until our divorce was final later in 2008. the following christmas i had substantially healed but there was still a scar there from what happened. i suspect that there always will be.
i was hoping to have someone special to spend this holiday season with and for part of the year i thought i would, but that ended in august for reasons i still don't completely understand. apparently being a nice guy who would do just about anything for someone he cares about doesn't stand for as much as it used to. or like i've been told, i just haven't found the right person. i can accept that, but what if the right person happens to live in tazmania, or wales or austin texas?
i can be happy being single. i've done it before. i just don't want to. i think i have a lot i can offer to someone.
i could go on ranting about my personal life, but i'll save that for another time.
--
i was flipping through channels late friday or saturday and i came across a documentary on Sigur Rós. a band from iceland. i had heard of them in passing but never heard any of their music. what i heard on the documentary, before i fell asleep, peaked my interest.
the next day i turned to twitter to get some recommendations about where to start with their music. it took awhile but i fianlly got a response (thanks @mahlerfan2)so i checked out the album he recommended and i was immediately hooked. i won't attempt to try and describe what they sound like as i won't do them any justice, i'll just point you to their wikipedia page. you would serve yourself well to look up some of their music on youtube as well.
i think that's all for now.
if i don't post again before christmas or new year's i hope you all have the best holiday possible.
peace
scott
Reader Comments (3)
I find it increasingly difficult to enjoy the holidays. Partly because old childhood memories are marred by my parents' divorce. It's just hard to reflect back on past Christmases and think about how easy things were and compare them to now when everything feels so contrived. It's also difficult to be single when you are surrounded by couples who are going all-out in order to make their partners happy this time of year. I don't feel like anyone's ever tried to go out of their way to show me affection (besides my parents who are actually really good to me). I enjoy seeing my friends so happy, but it's also a reminder that I'm not. Sorry for all this gut-spilling. The holidays have that effect on me.
No apologies needed. This is a gut spilling time of year. I definitely know where you are coming from.
awwwww